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Prophet Seeking "Moderates" For Anti-Terror Coalition


SAMARIA--The Prophet Elijah today announced he will seek the cooperation of moderate Baal worshippers in his ongoing effort to eradicate the al-Jezebel terror network that is wreaking havoc upon Israel.

"Our message to Baal worshippers throughout the world is that this is a war against evil, not against Baal," Elijah said. "This is not a question of religion. It is a question of good versus evil."

The prophet was emphatic in pointing out that the focus of the ongoing anti-terror effort is upon the more radical element of the Baal religion, represented by "some 450 prophets of Baal and 400 prophets of Asherah." These radicals, Elijah said, "do not represent the vast majority of Baal worshippers who practice their religion in peace."

It is widely anticipated that, as a goodwill gesture toward the more moderate Baal worshippers, Elijah will allow rain to fall next week during a Baal religious festival. No rain has fallen in Israel for some three and a half years because Yahweh, the true God of Israel, has been displeased with the nation's worship of Baal. However, Elijah claims to have a direct relationship with Yahweh and has promised to discuss the matter with him in the wilderness later this week.

Ahab, the present King of Israel whose wife is blamed in large part for the recent outbreak of radical Baal activity, expressed confidence in Elijah's ability to negotiate with the Almighty. "I'm sure he can work something out," the king said. "I have never known a deity yet who wasn't open to some kind of compromise."

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