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"The Church of Please Please Us"

by Tom Graffagnino


"Families fail to nurture, governments fail to provide justice, schools fail to educate and so churches fail to represent Christ....The mask has been taken away. Choosing to be relevant to society's illusions instead of historic mission, they soon join society in its degeneration."

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"Jerusalem staggers, Judah is falling; their words and deeds are against the LORD, defying His glorious presence. The look on their faces testifies against them; They parade their sin like Sodom; they do not hide it. Woe to them! They have brought disaster upon themselves." --Isaiah 3: 8-9


"The Church of Please Please Us"

Trying not to offend,
It's over we bend.
We're the church born of calls of "Please please us!"
Karl Marx we applaud,
St. Paul was a fraud,
And we've got some real problems with Jesus.


We're an activist crowd;
We protest long 'n' loud,
'Cause we're fighting for YOUR Self-Esteem.
We've adapted the Word,
To vaque notions quite blurred,
And our liturgies now are a scream.


We do "clerical chic".
Our message is sleek.
We do wine, grape juice, gin 'n' tonic.
We're Hollywood preachers,
"Old morality" tweakers....
Our message?
Orthodoxy-moronic.


With us you'll have fun,
Because You're Number One!
Our sermons are 'neat' and a blast.
Poor in Spirit?
Don't fret.
You'll be stroked,
And best yet...
"Moral Guilt" here's a thing of the past.


With our banner unfurled,
We're in love with the world.
Our unflagging commitment's to You.
We're pro-choice,
And pro-cloning...
Partial birth rights condoning.
We like Arafat more than the Jew.


"Viagra-Abort",
Is our national sport...
Come enjoy the free hedonist highs.
Moral guilt's been defeated.
God of judgment?
......Unseated.
And our victory song?
...."Compromise!"


We negotiate peace,
With the world and the beast.
Our goal?
A safe place for the small.
We're a pragmatic sect,
And we often elect,
To define who is human for all.


We like politics "green";
We despise gasoline,
And SUV owners should die.
....(And speaking of 'dead',
When all's done and all's said,
Instant karma brings "Pie in the Sky".)


We hate guns....
We hate war.
We dig Castro and Gore.
We luv bears both grizzlies and polars.
We're on "Eco-Alert",
As with Buddha we flirt.
We're the Church of Ozone Holy Rollers.


We judge no one...
We're fair.
We're diverse and we care.
We're all Jung at heart and appealing.
'Truth Seekers R Us',
On this green magic bus.
Revolving, evolving and f-e-e-e-e-ling!


Original Sin
Has been purged from within.
We've swept it right under the rug.....
Out of sight,
Out of mind...
Abortion inclined?
Just ignore, Miss, your conscience's tug.


What you "feel"
Is what's right.
Those old "Laws" were a blight.
On the progress of mankind's evolving.
Those Commandments devout?
Well, we voted 'em out.
Now, at last, our guilt is dissolving.


First Principles grounded...
Moral Law we have hounded
Into closets of Shame and Disgrace.
Now it's Man's Law that rules,
In the courts and the schools.
The Idol of Self is in place.

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Lord, forgive this our Sin...
It's that pattern again,
You've revealed to mankind in Your word.
Help us recognize Pride.
Don't allow us to hide,
From Your Holiness that we've so blurred.


Our Sin is bright red...
In the darkness we're led,
By the pride of Self-Will unabated.
Lord teach us to mourn;
From your arms we've been torn,
By The Lie and the Ego-inflated.


****************************

"Blessed are those who mourn,
For they will be comforted...." --Matthew 5: 4


"Son of man, say to the house of Israel, 'This is what you are saying: "our offenses and sins weigh us down, and we are wasting away because of them. How can we live?" ' Say to them, 'As surely as I live, declares the Sovereign Lord, I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn from their ways and live." --Ezekiel 33: 10-11a

"When I turned from being agnostic, I went to Union Theological Seminary eager for and expecting bread; but when I graduated, all that it left me was a handful of pebbles." ---Bishop James Pike

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