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"Drive Through Theology"
"Have it Your Way (In This 'Borger King' Day)

by Tom Graffagnino

"In short, the image of the historical Jesus as a divine or semi-divine being, who saw himself as a divine savior whose purpose was to die for the sins of the world and whose message consisted of proclaiming that is simply not true." 

óMarcus Borg ("Jesus a New Vision")

For your junk food addiction,
Belly up to THIS kitchen,
Where prices on 'Borgers' are slashed.
You'll get nonsense and lies,
With your drink and large fries...
Gnostic Nuggets warmed over...

"Borger King" is the name,
And the Game is the same,
As it was in the Garden before.
Come on! Take a bite!
This fruit is just right!
(Orthodoxy?...Please leave at the door.)

Cheesey burgers from hell,
Are packaged to sell,
By liberal gurus who say:
"Borger King" food is 'in'...
No sweat and No Sin!
Follow us, and
'Have it Your Way!'

And on Borger's Lite Bread,
Comes his Heresy Spread.
It's unique, and it goes on s-o-o-o easy!
Just smo-o-o-oth it right on,
Wolf it down,
And move on.
It's a groove....
And you'll never feel queasy.

You'll holler 'n' hoop,
For "Jezebelly Bean Soup",
A delicious remake ...
And a gas.
Concocted below,
By elite 'in the know'.
A Laodicean Blast from the Past.

Now the really 'Good News':
Borger King's got new stews!
(The world's all a-buzz and a-chatter)
It's a stew with no meat...
But still, it's a treat.
They call it:
"Truth's Head on a Platter".

It's a popular plate...
Short order...No wait.
Salome brings it right to your place.
It's a real tempting dish.
Close your eyes.
Make a wish.
Lick your chops, friend,
Then stuff your face.

New Age clientele,
With their ticket to hell,
Pull in often these days for a bite.
'Balaam Wings' they adore,
And they clamor for more!
Then they drive away into the night.

These Millennium Wings,
From Head Chef, Borger King,
Will arrive at your church very soon.
Cheap Grace appetizers,
Self-Esteem realizers...
Welcome you to false gods' Greasy Spoon.

'Nicolaitan's Delight'
Is the special tonight...
A morsel you simply must try.
Served up with the wings,
Tears of joy it will bring!
When you taste it,
You'll simply just die!

Can you hear all the cries,
For the 'Compromise Pies'?
They're Fluffy 'n' Puffy...
Just right.
Both flakey AND sweet,
My word! What a treat!
Culinary, post-modern delight.

Mr. Borg's Salad Bar,
Is a spread most bizarre,
With goodies exotic and odd.
There's quite an array,
Idol thoughts on display,
Where Jesus is simply not God.

So. please...pick and choose,
His theological rues,
Have been bubblin' for centuries, friend.
It's Fluff, Goo and Filler,
Good Stuff...a real 'Killer'.
And a 'heck' of a choice in the end.

Dear Lord, we have strayed,
From the Path you have laid,
Choosing often old idols most lewd.
You warned us , sweet Lord,
When your Spirit you poured,
Your Word into Peter and Jude.....

"For certain men whose condemnation was written about long ago have secretly slipped in among you. They are godless men, who change the grace of our God into a license for immorality and deny Jesus Christ our only Sovereign and Lord..... "Woe to them! They have taken the way of Cain; they have rushed into Balaam's error.... "These men are blemishes at your love feasts, eating with you without the slightest qualm-shepherds who feed only themselves..." (Jude 4...12a)

"But there were also false prophets among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you. They will secretly introduce destructive heresies, even denying the sovereign Lord who bought them...Many will follow their shameful ways. In their greed these teachers will exploit you with stories they have made up...They have left the straight way and wandered off to follow the way of Balaam..." (2Peter2:1...15)

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